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He was totally planning to hit that. A friend sent me the link to your blog this evening. State Chapters Start a Chapter. We have parking in a fenced area for our trucks with security. The NHP would, like Medicare, ban private insurance that duplicates the public coverage to forestall the emergence of a two-tiered health care system, in which insurers would compete by lobbying to underfund the public part of the system. Very nice staff and they have the best prices. Definitely recommend this place for any storage needs.
Then he sighed, closed the door and walked away. Two whole weeks early. Which was probably very confusing to the UPS guy, who was just trying to be polite, Victor.
Victor seemed more disgruntled than usual, so I finally dragged the chicken into the backyard and wedged it into a clump of trees so that it could scare the snakes away. Or possibly because Beyoncé is growing on him. Honestly, this whole chicken is really a lesson in picking your battles more carefully. Victor and I are still of course happily married and after a few weeks he got over his giant rooster aversion.
Beyonce stares at him from outside his office window. I eventually got new towels. Victor was not impressed. Now please stop yelling at me. Like Liked by 2 people. That is possibly the best purchase anyone has made ever. Keep up the good work. Like Liked by 1 person. Starrynite recently posted Every silver lining…. Like Liked by 3 people. Sheila stinginthetail recently posted Some light reading…. You really, seriously and for real, need to be my best friend. I would love to have chicken adventures with you.
But, alas, we are miles away. OMG, I love this. I need a friend like you who encourages this kind of behavior. I also want to know where you that chicken cuz my birthday is next month. New Zealanders are basically drunk insomniacs.
You should drag him into your room next. Your post had me laughing out loud. I would do something like this, but probably only have the guts to purchase and install at home a 3-foot chicken of revenge. Can we go shopping?
Mommy's Minions MommysMinions recently posted - Space Guy balances on a coffee delivery vehicle. Ok, I ran across your blog from one Ms. That should settle that battle. First the tequila gun, and now a five foot chicken. It will make up for the lack of baby pygmy goats in my yard. Barbara recently posted Generic Pot. I wouldve just bought towels. A five foot cock is much more effective. I really feel like the only thing you can do is add red LED lights where the eyes are located, then wheel that thing next to the sleeping form of your husband.
Where did you acquire that metal monstrosity? I am silently laughing with tears rolling down my cheeks, trying not to wake up the people who are actually sleeping right now.
I never knew I needed a big metal chicken until now. You have got no idea how bad I want a huge metal chicken. Even more than I wanted the real ones I have. Veronica recently posted Growing up and updates. How is it that I have never felt the urge to buy a chicken the same height as menuntil this moment? If you ask me Victor is going to end up loving it. In about a couple of months you should offer to get rid of it and watch him squirm as his pride and love for Beyonce battle out internally.
Lisa recently posted A weekend of chilling with the future bosses. Victor will come around. Brought tears to my eyes. Tracey recently posted Because I Feel Guilty. LMAO Also, how is it possible to have this many comments this fast after posting, this late at night?
Are all your readers insomniatic drunks? I am seriously disturbed by the number of parallels between your story and my experience in grad school. Ridiculous quantity of money spent 2. My adviser frequently threatened to cut people. In the shiv kind of way. No one appreciated the hilarity of my practical jokes. I spent entirely too much time around poultry, including chickens AND turkeys.
At least one fellow student had hair like the comb on your metal chicken. Kay Bee recently posted Monday Miscellaneous. I am very glad you decided to post this, because it spawned a conversation with my husband that ended with me making this statement:. Maybe we could all send you one new, random towel. But imagine his face when he discovered your stockpile of towel.
Cassie recently posted the day my world tried to fall apart. And well, the story about the chicken is WELL worth the dollar. It kinda makes me sad that I am divorced and cannot put a giant, shiv wielding cock at the front door—ring the bell and run and hide while my husband answers the door.
The fact that a huge metal chicken can make me regret my marital status is frightening. Also, I think Victor is just secretly jealous because no anniversary gift he buys you could possibly top a 5-foot chicken.
The kids still forget it sometimes though, but I blame the distraction of fireworks. I laughed out loud in my dorm when I read this part: He reminds me of my third roommate in college, who my other roommate and I accidentally made cry. That is so fucking funny I have been crying tears of laughter for 10 minutes already. He has had to be very understanding of these purchases. James Garfield was pushing it, I think maybe Beyoncé should go back….
Jools recently posted Please help. Oh and I think Victor is amazing for not strangling you. Maybe you should make some Beyonce Chicken cards to sell to negate the money spent on said metallic fowl.
It worked for James Garfield did it not? Louise recently posted The solemn business of naming your chicken. Bet the chicken turns a profit. This post is good for people with insomnia And people who have been camping and therefore felt crap. Kim recently posted I could have sworn I had something interesting to say. Ok so that is the funniest shit I have read in a while…needed that laugh Jenny. Omg; I want one! Definitely not chicken little…lol.
And the kids wanted to know why I was laughing and crying all at the same time. I let them read it…………………. Or maybe not as they are all males. I get it, and I love it.
Thank you for sharing. On the other hand you are seriously fucking funny when drunk, high or sleep deprived. Or because of it. And also, a really great gift idea for my mother. She would die for this. Where did you get it? Jenna recently posted My Life in France. Mr Farty recently posted Pentland Walk. When I scrolled down to the picture of the chicken in front of the door, my coffee almost came out of my nose.
Which sort of hurts. Dang, I with the fights I have with my husband were half as interesting as the ones you have with Victor. Kelly recently posted Fractal No I think I see the problem.
Marinka recently posted Young Ladrinka is Ten. You are so brilliant! You totally win that battle. Giant Chicken Beyonce rules…seriously you gave Victor such a practical gift. Leanna recently posted Whats In My Purse. You are a genius and I love you. Thank you for the chicken-at-the-front-door photo. I have not laughed that hard since you took a picture of your parents back yard. Annadanna from Canada recently posted Not all dads are jackoffs.
Koockie recently posted Got 99 problems but a drink aint one. But only because I appreciate nature. I have a habit of buying things simply because they are hilarious. Also, for Christmas my mom got me a wooden box full of tea. With a cock on it. She said she spent the longest time trying to find some sort of assortment of tea without a rooster so that she would not have to deal with me announcing that I had received a cock box all day long.
Once again, glad to be following. Ninja Mike recently posted Freedom. I would love to have a goddamned cock lawn ornament, but I worry that my king cobra lawn ornament would want to eat it can you see the headlines? The snake eats the cock?? Besides, the lawn gnomes are already stressed out as it is.
It kind of looks like the good luck chickens they make in Portugal, only giant sized. Victor DOES know what a lucky man he is, right?
Nobody else I know gets life lessons like this on such a regular basis. My 15th anniversary is next week, and I had no idea that the 15th is Big Metal Chickens! Once again, your blog is both timely and informative! My husband will be so pleased. No every man wants to be given a giant cock as an Anniversary gift.
And tell Victor thanks, too, for hating towles so much. Truly in hysterics over here. Like I had to wait for my breathing to get to seminormal before I attempted typing. Happy anniversary to you and welcome to the family to Beyoncé. Angelique recently posted Free to play. I just laughed so hard in the coffee shop the coffee guy asked me what I was laughing at! Still laughing very hard! Bringing home a metal chicken in lieu of towels was def not what a husband would expect.
God I love this post. Kelly recently posted Fourrible. You so made my migraine better this morning. Karen recently posted Fibro Friday! I have tears streaming down my face. This is the greatest chicken story in the story of chickens. I am lmao at you two in the store causing a commotion.
It is awesome that yu have a friend equally crazy enough to see the value in this amazing piece of art.
Now I know better. Les recently posted The head of St Vitalis of Assisi. Make a tshirt about this, stat. I will buy it. Because I will NOT buy a chicken like that. That is one of the best chicken purchases I have ever seen! Think of the uses! Jess recently posted Housewarming Gifts. John B recently posted things Ive learned recently cough phoning it in today.
Did they have any giant flamingos? I would totally drive to Texas and rent a Uhaul if the had 5 foot metal flamingos. My wife will be so happy that, after 30 years, I will finally get this right.
Can you do birthdays the same way. Jonah Gibson recently posted Darwin in Gatorland. Put me down for sending you a towel in the mail. You know, to coordinate with Beyonce. What disgruntled employee at what failing company came up with the idea for that chicken do you think?
Stimey recently posted Sam- Creative- Thoughtful- and Respectful. Victor needs to get over it. And I would totally donate a dollar towards the cause to help Victor feel better about your purchase.
Also, have sent link to husband for training purposes. Be thankful we have towels, young man, and no 5ft metal chickens. Is it just me or does Beyonce remind you of the Wallace and Gromit penguin with a washing up glove on its head?
Oh and Happy Early Anniversary. Sarah Peduzzi recently posted Friends- Dont forget about them. I have a 3 foot chicken that is very similar. His name is Henry and he is perched on top of our fridge and looks down at us. The Escrow Goddess recently posted Weight Watchers just might be turning me into an alcohlic Well- at least I will be a skinny drunk. And I already have picked out my own chicken. I might get two. One in gold and one in silver. Though technically, Beyonce is a rooster.
So perhaps Victor is offended that you bought him a giant metal cock for your anniversary? Anyway, nice cock, dude. All the single chickens, all the single chickens…..
Pants recently posted nails and a movie. Did James Garfield teach Victor nothing? That is one fantastic cock.
Dangerboy recently posted Surviving the Life. Return it for not being able to stand, get discounted more, and buy towels with the free money. However could he compete with this gift?! Jay Lee recently posted Sun Halo — May 4- Thank you for being the ward of unwanted animal bizarrities.
I needed this chicken story this morning. My did almost the same thing. They were at Burlington and saw this two ducks. The employees were sad to see them go. Xander recently posted Season of Cliffhangers.
Pepper out of my nose, wonderful. Thanks for the yucks. Jenny, I feel I should warn you about the following possibility: Leaving Beyonce in the woods outside is just asking for wasps to build nests in there.
Which is fine if you never move him, but if Victor ever does decide to move him… that chicken will not only cut him, but also sting him unmercifully.
Once a wasp built a nest right inside the door to my gas tank. Those Texas wasps are sneaky little things. On the other hand, a giant metal chicken that shoots wasps at you sounds like just the sort of thing that you might enjoy. Tell me where to send the dollar and a towel. Because I have not laughed so hard and for so long… I will totally help pay off that purchase. Kendahl recently posted One of my favorite actors one of my favorite actresses how could it be bad.
Thinking about doing something like that to my fiance, just to go ahead and break him in. Also, awesome, awesome friend. Good friends make friends buy ugly crazy crap. Allyn recently posted Treasure- A horse is a horse. Honestly I think that Victor is an asshole, because only assholes see the world of huge metal chickens in a bad way.
First time blg reader here. I was only able to post after I wiped my eyes with a tissue. You are my hero. I love that your sense of whimsy does not quail before a giant metal chicken. Thanks for making another happy spot on my mental landscape. Summer recently posted gangsta style game pun. I love you have it watching him through the window. I bet he gets more work done with inspiration just a glance away. Maybe you should start writing it.
Thanks for the ideas…pick your own battles! I so understand exactly how you feel. I once bought a very soft stuffed F. G that was sending me spiritual messages at a gas station. This post completely made my day! Happy Anniversary — Victor is a lucky man! And I would say: Where can I get a chicken? You should totally put some blinking L. Karen recently posted Wait Youre supposed to use a cell phone to talk to people. My husband is also always bitching about towels.
Holy crapper, I needed a laugh! We are full of dying grandfathers and strokey dads around my dwelling. If we had an enormous metal chicken life would be better. That Uncomfortable Itch recently posted These days. Because I really, really need to get Mister W a giant metal chicken.
My husband tends to look at me funny when I laugh maniacally in front of the computer. Lynn Walking With Scissors recently posted You can thank my brother for this one…. When I have my 15th wedding anniversary in a few years, I want to go shopping with you. I will find a way to transport you to Missouri, so that we can go shopping for something equally as awesome as a five foot rusty sharp chicken. I think the hundred bucks you spent on Beyonce was just about the best thing you could have done.
If I had a giant metal chicken…my life would be complete. Kristi recently posted Delicious Weekend. I blogged about a giant metal chicken last week! Giant metal chickens are the new black. Brandy recently posted I believe Ive avoided being morbid. I sent this to my boyfriend.
Random recently posted Have you ever noticed. This just made me laugh so hard I cried. I aspire to maybe being, one day, a vague reflection of your greatness. I brought home a distant cousin in December! I got the same reaction, except mine was at the airport. Angella recently posted Rays Of Sunshine. You are a RIOT!!! And your man must be made of steel not to have melted down in laughing fits! By the end of this it was a 15 foot chicken! Now I must look for the 15 foot chicken for my 15th anniversary.
Nah, I like cats. So it would have to be a 15 foot cat staring down at my husband. I totally would have rang the bell and hidden as well. But my husband would have probably picked it up and heaved it across the road or something, because he is easy to rattle. May you have many more. I think 16 is towels, by the way. Polish Mama on the Prairie recently posted Pickle Hamburgers.
I blame it on lack of sleep. Also … drinking a Killer Bee helps too. Come to think of it, the aldermen who voted against allowing a 4-H member to have chickens in our city might deserve a visit from mega-chicken. Carla chickmae recently posted Sooke baby! Let me tell you something dude, if You got Jenny a 5 foot cock for you guys 15 year anniversary she would lock her self in her room and punch shit.
Right now Victor I am pretty upset with your reaction, which is bad timing on your part considering our local 60 year goofy putt putt golf place just went out of business and they have shit tons of crazy huge things for sale. You better get in line man. ThePeachy1 recently posted Tell it Tuesday- Not even advice.
Move the 5 foot cock into the bathroom and hang the pink towels on it. ThePittsofBeingPeachy recently posted I got honked- won 20 and no nuts were tazered. Jenny asked me to drop by and tell you that she misses you. That second photo just made my day. Jess recently posted On RVs. My eyes are full of tears right now, from the hysterical laughter.
That photo of the chicken on the doorstep is pure platinum awesomeness. And the thought of a rooster named Beyonce is even more hilarious. I had no idea you could buy a gay metal rooster that will cut you. I think you have a very grand entry way to your house. Not only is she an awesome conversation starter, she will scare away any and all solicitors you might get.
Also, Victor still owes me a better reaction. And I will collect. Oh yes I will. Your cock is colorful and beautiful! Jocelyn recently posted Thank you.
This is, quite possibly, the most hilarious story involving Victor yet. So, congratulations — you now have like 15 new readers.
A rooster, not a chicken, right? Who can say No to Beyonce?? Victor probably has a case of cock envy. Chibi Jeebs recently posted On body acceptance.
You could position Beyonce outside your bathroom door and she could hold towels for you. Victor is a very lucky guy. Either that or he is highly medicated. And Some Google search terms. Did someone already say how this is a classic example of life imitating art? Or art imitating art? I really need to stop reading these at work! Kimberly J recently posted Happy Fathers Day! You need a tin sign that reads the sentiment.
Eric recently posted Washington DC. I need a Chicken like that! I totally have to go to Ross or those other discount places and find a chicken like this. My neighbors would HATE it and it would be awesome and win my neighborhood. Holy mother, this made my cry, it was that hysterical. When he fell in the store you should have demanded a discount because he was dented. Just like the old ladies with cans who always get in line in front of me.
Mustache recently posted His Name is Sammy Sosa. Betty Fokker recently posted Of facts and death threats. I imagine a giant metal chicken at your door is a small step down from a decapitated horse head in your bed. Andie recently posted I just had the puberty talk and the sex talk at one time and now I need a drink- thanks.
Snarky should consider himself lucky that I mostly shop online, for clothes and shoes. Honestly I think you should just keep it at the front door like that. If only it was solar powered and lit up after dark then that would be like the best present ever.
I am so excited to know that chickens are the 15th anniversary gift. And not some lame-ass towels. The chicken fund saving has begun — three full years until my own 5 foot Beyonce. No, not a beyonce named Guy! You know what I mean. And when I start doing standup again real soon so get your tickets now! I swear I am. Jami recently posted Sharing is caring. You know, I was thinking about the James Garfield postcard project to raise money to subsidize the cost of James Garfield and I think the Knock Knock Motherfucker picture would make for an excellent line of anniversary greeting cards.
Just think of all the things you can do to this chicken such as hang plastic neon eggs from it at Easter and wrap it in lights at Christmas. Awesome anniversary gift, Jenny! Amy recently posted Im so strange even my bike needs a special pump. Rebecca recently posted Bright Moments with Becca-. So I just spent two whole minutes trying to figure out where the bottom half of your body was in the pic of you hugging the giant cock, er, chicken.
Because I need glasses, apparently. Moral of the story: I have the checkmate I need to win all arguments with my husband now. Feeding technicians during the day, three meals a day. Scope to head to the local beach in between days, to cater to locals, bach dwellers and tourists…. Their contact details are already listed on this site. The first step is for you to set the date, so get that sorted and then we can help.
A real time saver for you is to send your event details to my entire database of Food Trucks. The taste on wheels ltd. Hi I am looking for food trucks to cater for a wedding in Queenstown in September for roughly people. We are finding it very hard to find anything. If anyone has any recommendations that would be great.
Hi, wondering if anyone know of a company or business in Christchurch that customise trucks or builds food trucks? Check out these cool food truck conversions http: As part of my project, would like to ask a few question like what are the requirements and licenses and where to get it as compliance in order to put up such business?
Every local council has their own rules and requirements. I am looking to buy a truck prefer a truck rather than a trailer already converted, ideally in the bay of plenty but will travel the north island. Or potentially lease one until next April. If anyone has one available. Your email address will not be published. Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.
Add your details for free Eriks Fish and Chips Owner? These measures would yield the substantial savings needed to fund universal care and new investments in currently under-funded services and public health activities — without any net increase in national health spending. As a result, U. Total expenditures under the NHP would be limited to approximately the same proportion of GDP as the year prior to its establishment.
While the needed funds could be garnered in a variety of ways, we favor the use of progressive taxes in order to reduce income inequality — itself an important social determinant of poor health. During a transition period, all public funds currently spent on health care — including Medicare, Medicaid, and state and local health care programs — would be redirected to the unified NHP budget.
During the transition period, these additional public funds could be raised through a variety of measures, e. In the longer term, however, direct funding through progressive taxes would be fairer.
By unburdening employers, the NHP would facilitate entrepreneurship while increasing the global competitiveness of American business. The ACA embodies the hopes of many for a more just health care system. Nor will it eliminate underinsurance. Disturbingly, the ACA has facilitated the imposition of new out-of-pocket costs on Medicaid recipients, and the skimpy coverage provided by many of the plans sold through the exchanges codifies the trend towards higher cost sharing for the privately insured.
Moreover, care obtained outside of the narrow provider networks provided by many exchange plans is neither covered nor applied to the out-of-pocket cap. ACOs are now widely promoted as a solution to our health care problems. Under ACO arrangements, insurers offer bonuses to hospitals and medical groups if they reduce health care costs, and under some arrangements penalize them when costs exceed targets. Like the HMOs of a previous era, ACOs invert fee-for-service incentives to provide excess care, instead offering rewards for reducing care.
To counter the obvious risk that these inverted incentives may lead to the denial of needed care, ACO payment schemes invariably mandate extensive reporting of quality indicators, and withhold some payments unless quality targets are met. Unfortunately, experience warns that quality monitoring may not protect patients in a profit-driven medical environment. Such monitoring figured prominently in the seminal HMO proposal 31 that preceded the well-documented abuses of the s.
Many argue that rewarding providers on the basis of the value they create for patients, rather than the volume of care they deliver, will improve outcomes, contain costs, and foster innovation.
Unfortunately, empiric support for this approach is lacking, and it rests on dubious assumptions about measurement and motivation. Despite decades of effort to develop inpatient risk adjustment, four widely used algorithms yield strikingly divergent rankings of hospital mortality performance.
Similarly, even excellent doctors who care for disadvantaged patients often score poorly on quality metrics. We face We face a historic crossroads in health care. One way would take us further down the path laid out by the ACA: The single-payer NHP that we advocate is a third path.
It is the best way — indeed, the only practical way — to provide comprehensive care to all Americans that would be affordable over the long term. Implementation will require a detailed transition process and pose novel problems; for instance, significant resources will be needed for job retraining and placement for displaced health insurance and billing workers.
But those dislocations would be offset in part by increased employment in care delivery and in other sectors of the economy, since employers would be relieved of the burden of providing ever more expensive health insurance. Overall, the NHP would entail far less disruption for clinicians and patients than alternative reforms. Free choice of doctor and hospital would become the norm, not a privilege for the few.
Clinicians would continue treating patients in their practices, albeit with substantially reduced paperwork and administrative expenses. The reforms we propose would improve the fairness and efficiency of medical care, but additional measures would be needed to address other critically important determinants of health.
Global warming would remain a looming threat. Policies that attenuate glaring income inequalities and assure an adequate standard of living for all Americans are essential if we are to reverse widening income-based health disparities Similarly, the stain of racial inequality and racism must be addressed if we are to achieve health for all. While the NHP would achieve savings on administration and profiteering, the benefits of these savings can only be realized if funds are redirected to currently underfunded health priorities, particularly public health Moreover, many problems within medical care would remain.
Regional health planning and capital allocation would make possible, but not assure, fair and efficient resource allocation; quality problems would persist; and areas such as long term and mental health care, and substance abuse will require new and creative solutions. Although an NHP would not solve these problems, it would establish a framework for addressing them.
Over the past century, myriad health care reforms — most well-intentioned — have been proposed and attempted. Yet continued reliance on private insurers and profit-driven providers has doomed them to fail. It is time to chart a new course, to change the system itself. By doing so, we can realize, at last, the right to health care in America.
Explaining high health care spending in the United States: Commonwealth Fund Issue Brief. The Commonwealth Fund ,. Woolhandler S, Himmelstein DU. J Gen Intern Med. Low-socioeconomic-status enrollees in high-deductible plans reduced high-severity emergency care. Delayed and forgone care for families with chronic conditions in high-deductible health plans.
Health care use and decision making among lower-income families in high-deductible health plans. Medical bankruptcy in the United States, Nearly half of families in high-deductible health plans whose members have chronic conditions face substantial financial burden.
Himmelstein DU, Woolhandler S. A national health program for the United States. N Engl J Med.