Enterprise Applications Consulting – Josh Greenbaum
And you need access to existing data and business processes that, at a minimum, can be used as a starting point for building new killer apps and processes. The good news for Dynamics is that they have some great coattails to ride in the form of Azure and Office By assigning points to a large variety of store-bought and restaurant foods, program members regarded choices like a banana now allowed or cupcake as being worth a certain number of points. We now know better. In no way does this justify the breathlessly hyperbolic tone of the headline.
The Master Cleanse
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All of that could have been ignored but seriously, why the firefly? The real kicker was the tagline: The whole thing is just so Adam Smith It beat their last tagline, "Seizure into Sublime! After complaints came in, Starbucks kicked into full-on backpedal mode, aborting the release of any more of the posters and instructing the 3, stores where the posters had already been displayed to "rip that shit down forthwith" official wording from the internal Starbucks memo. And by "never again," we mean "until about nine years later," when they decided to declare September 11, Free Coffee Day.
Through a combination of B-list celebrity spokespeople and a points system so ridiculously complicated that it works by causing you to just give up on eating altogether, Weight Watchers has succeeded in becoming nearly synonymous with weight loss. But that's not to say they haven't made some marketing blunders along the way -- perhaps the most notable of which being a gruesome coincidence in that had to make them feel like they'd been cursed by a vengeful god. John Phelan "But we sacrificed so many goats.
The ad featured a beaming Fergie touting the benefits of Weight Watchers -- namely, its ability to help you watch your weight -- under the bold declaration that losing weight was " harder than outrunning the paparazzi.
You see where this is headed now, right? If you think back to the top news stories of , you'll remember that cloned sheep and Mars robots and crazy comet cults all played second fiddle to the story of Princess Diana's death in a tragic car crash And here we had people getting this ad in the mail the next day after the accident.
What the hell was Weight Watchers thinking? What they were thinking is that they weren't time-traveling wizards with the ability to foresee the future -- they had the campaign in the works long before, and had just mailed out the fliers bearing the slogan when Di was killed.
They were scheduled to do tons of TV and other media the following week, which absolutely would have looked like they were riffing on the princess's gruesome crash. This of course sent Weight Watchers scrambling to cancel the campaign, but unfortunately thousands of direct mail brochures had already been sent out, and print ads had already gone to press in magazines such as Glamour and Self , creating an immensely embarrassing situation for both the company and their new spokesperson, and confusion for all of the people who presumably thought the news of Diana's death itself was part of some kind of viral marketing stunt.
Sorry, we got a little excited there. Because, you see, it's not every day that fate steps in and writes the dick joke for us. Getty Images News Mr. Armey was a rare gift. In the mids, well before the YouTube comments section came along to wreck their faith in humanity, people everywhere were still discovering the joy of home computers.
Japanese engineers at Panasonic were way ahead of the curve, and in -- when many people were still adapting to the concept of this "mouse" thingamajig -- they developed a touch screen PC for the home market. Panasonic needed a way to brand their touchy-feely new PC that would appeal to your average, not-tech-savvy consumer. They wanted to tout their PC's accessibility and ease of use, and they needed a mascot to demonstrate that computers were not arcane devices used only by NASA scientists and the socially awkward.
This made their choice of mascot a total no brai- wait, Woody Woodpecker?! Yep, Woody Woodpecker might seem like a relic from the heyday of American cartoons to you, but he was apparently huge in '90s Japan.
So after securing the rights to use Mr. Woodpecker and conducting an amount of research so infinitesimal that scientists are still studying it today, Panasonic proudly dubbed their new computer "The Woody. Panasonic had no clue that anything was wrong with the slogan until the day before the ads were set to launch, when an American staff member informed them of the sexual slang connotations, presumably while spraying them with soda out of his nose.
Just let me cash out my stock options first. And that, dear Cracked readers, is how years of research and technological innovation can be completely negated by the power of one accidental boner reference. Symon is a moderator in the Cracked Workshop. He can be found on Facebook , or you can vote for his new book, The End of the Line. Or learn about Dickonomics: How 5 Everyday Businesses Trick You.
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